Accepted (2006)

Director: Steve Pink (I've never seen his other 2 films but he directed the awesome looking Hot Tub Time Machine)
Stars: Justin Long (Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story, Herbie Fully Loaded)
Jonah Hill (Superbad, Evan Almighty)
YesNoSoso: 1

I definitely went into this movie with the dread associated with a guaranteed YesNoSoso 0 but actually enjoyed myself. Lewis Black gives an expectably funny performance and I'll be darned if I don't just like Justin Long for an inexplicable reason. Accepted has its funny moments but I really give it props for being unashamedly critical of the American collegiate system and the process's required for acceptance.
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Street Kings (2008)

Director: David Ayer (the only other thing he's directed is something called Harsh Times)
Stars: Keanu Reeves (The Matrix, The Lake House)
Forrest Whittaker (Blown Away, First Daughter)
YesNoSoso: 0

I never in a million years would've thought I'd hate a movie based on a James Ellroy book as much as I hated Street Kings. I guess Keanu Reeves can do that to a movie where's he's not there to act like a shocked idiot. There are things constantly happening in this movie and yet its still boring as sh!t. The entire premise is stupid as hell, Keanu plays a reformed dirty cop who witnesses the murder of another cop. We all know how it ends and who did it and yet we have to wait 2 f@cking hours for Theodore Logan to figure it out. Dear G-d skip this crap.
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Sunshine Cleaning (2008)

Director: Christine Jeffs (Sylvia [but I didn't see it], and I didn't see anything else she directed])
Stars: Amy Adams (Catch Me if You Can, Enchanted)
Emily Blunt (Charlie Wilson's War, The Devil Wears Prada)
YesNoSoso: 1

A solid movie, just not spectacular. Adams, Blunt, Alan Arkin and the always awesome Steve Zahn deliver good performances in a relatively fresh idea, its just that the implementation is a little stale and predictable. Worth a look, but not much more.
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Year One (2009)

Director: Harold Ramis (Groundhog Day, Bedazzled)
Stars: Jack Black (Tropic Thunder, Shallow Hal)
Michael Cera (Superbad, "Arrested Development" [clearly awesome, he hasn't really been in anything bad that I've seen])
YesNoSoso: 1

This movie was a real surprise. I had heard so many horrible things about it, I may have enjoyed myself purely out of surprise, but I did. It had a lot of funny moments and a lot of tongue in cheek bible/geeky history jokes. The movie has a great cast including Black, Cera, David Cross (my personal messiah), Oliver Platt, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Paul Rudd, Vinnie Jones, Hank Azaria, Olivia Wilde, and Bill Hader. If you are in the mood for a dumb comedy thats not too dumb, check out Year One.
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Avatar (2009)

Director: James Cameron (True Lies, Aliens [I don't care what you think, that movie is terrible])
Stars: Sam Worthington (I really don't think he's been in a good movie, Terminator: Salvation)
Sigourney Weaver (Alien, Heartbreakers)
YesNoSoso: 2

Believe it or not I actually waffled on what to give this movie as I was watching it in Imax 3D. It was easily the coolest graphics I've ever seen and the story was actually really good, but the dialogue was terrible in many a spot and I don't really have any desire to see it again. However, Avatar's moniker as a "game-changer" is well deserved. I hope that in the near future all movies look as awesome as Avatar. Do yourself a favor and see this movie in IMAX 3D.
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Extract (2009)

Director: Mike Judge (Idiocracy, "King of the Hill")
Stars: Jason Bateman ("Arrested Development", Teen Wolf Too)
Kristin Wiig (Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story, Semi-Pro)
YesNoSoso: 2

Mike Judge does an amazing job of capturing the essence of unintelligent. From Beavis & Butthead, to everybody in Idiocracy to the factory workers in Extract, Judge is incredible at painting hilariously stupid but very frustrating characters. The critics didn't love Extract, but I did. The phenomenal cast of Bateman, Wiig, Judge, Ben Affleck, Mila Kunis, Gene Simmons and the wildly underrated J.K. Simmons and David Koechner all give great performances and I believe Extract is Judge's most complete script.
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Waiting...(2005)

Director: Rob McKittrick (directorial debut and hasn't (wisely) been given another chance)
Stars: Justin Long (Idiocracy, Alvin and the Chipmunks)
Ryan Reynolds (Dick, Blade: Trinity [soooo many choices...])
YesNoSoso: 0

Writing about YesNoSoso 0's is always one of two scenarios: either I don't have enough space to say all the things about the movie that pissed me off or I have nothing to say at all. This is of the latter. I didn't hate Waiting... and perhaps that's why I don't have much to say about it. I just wish I hadn't watched it. The cast is actually pretty good, besides the anti-chris...I mean Dane Cook. The solid cast of Long, Reynolds (who I love but hate most of the movies he's in), Luis Guzman, David Koechner and Anna Farris aren't enough to save this horrible movie.
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True Lies (1994)

Director: James Cameron (Terminator 2, Titanic)
Stars: Arnold Schwarzenegger (Total Recall, Batman & Robin)
Jamie Lee Curtis (Trading Places, Freaky Friday)
YesNoSoso: 2

True Lies is the movie I always forget when I'm blasting James Cameron. This movie is absolutely incredible and really one of a kind. Its almost as if Cameron tricked Schwarzenegger into doing this movie. True Lies is essentially a satire of Arnold's movies, but its also (in my opinion) his best one. It pulls off the ultra-rare feat of trying to satirize a specific genre of movie, being successful and also making a great movie WITHIN the genre it was trying to satirize. I would imagine if I told 1000 people that I believe James Cameron has only one Emphatic 2, I'd get a whole lot of Terminator 2's, some Aliens, a few Titanics and an Abyss or 2, but not a single True Lies. (BTW if your curious T2 is a begrudged 2 (I don't think its stood the test of time), Aliens and Titanic are f-ing zeros and I don't remember the Abyss enough to give it a rating [not a good sign]).
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Inglourious Basterds (2009)

Director: Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Death Proof [which I still think is pretty f-ing awesome])
Stars: Brad Pitt (12 Monkeys, Seven Years in Tibet [which was still decent])
Christoph Waltz (some German films I've never heard of)
YesNoSoso: 2

This movie was freakin amazing. I honestly (and foolishly) thought that it was going to be Tarantino's take on the classic World War II genre, but Tarantino filmed this much more as a western set in World War II. The results are incredible (I love westerns, especially those with a Tarantino twist). I've debated putting this in here, because one of the tenements of YesNoSoso is quick descriptions of movies that give as little away as possible, but I really feel this next point is a huge part of this movies greatness. So here's you're prerequisite "spoiler alert": One of the things that I loved most about this movie was that for most of the it I was under the assumption that the events transpiring were happening during the real time line of World War II and the movie was just revealing an "unknown" storyline of World War II. Because of this assumption, I was watching under the pretense that the Basterds plan was doomed for failure. Because of this misdirection the climax was a true surprise (a rarity at this stage in my movie watching).
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The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (2007)

Director: Julian Schnabel (Basquiat, only other movie is Before Night Falls which I've never seen)
Stars: Mathieu Amalric (Quantum of Solace [which I haven't seen but heard bad things about], a bunch of french films I've never heard of)
Max Von Sydow (The Seventh Seal, Rush Hour 3)
YesNoSoso: 1

Another "Oscar-worthy" movie that I thought was totally overrated. The effects and style used in the beginning to portray Bouby's "locked-in syndrome" are both fascinating and terrifying. But the movie as a whole is incredibly formulaic. Guy is on top of the world. Guy is an a$$hole. Guy gets in terrible accident. Guy loses everything. Guy initially gives up. Guy eventually learns to live again. Guy becomes a better person. Seen it.
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Harold & Kumar Escape from Gauntanamo Bay (2008)

Director: Jon Hurwitz & Hayden Schlossberg (directorial debut, they wrote this as well as the original)
Stars: John Cho (Better Luck Tomorrow, In Good Company)
Kal Penn (Van Wilder [a...decent movie], Son of the Mask)
YesNoSoso: 1

I really wrestled with this rating, cause I thought the movie was a huge disappointment, but then I wised up and realized I was just comparing it to the original, which I loved. I finally arrived at the fact that I enjoyed the 2 hours and was just being stubborn. Heck I could watch Rob Corddry make funny faces for 2 hours and be entertained. Overall though, this sequel is just too haphazard for my tastes. Nothing really makes sense and things are way too convenient, even for a absurd comedy such as this.
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The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

Director: David Fincher (Fight Club, Panic Room [which I actually liked])
Stars: Brad Pitt (Inglourious Basterds, Cool World)
Cate Blanchett (I'm Not There, nothing I've ever seen of hers has really been that bad)
YesNoSoso: 1

I didn't think this movie was bad and perhaps I'm just overreacting to all the positive hype that surrounded this movie, but I didn't think it was anything special. As the YesNoSoso mantra dictates for a 1, I enjoyed my 2 hours (or rather 2 hours and 46 minutes) but wouldn't go back for a second helping. Maybe the ridiculous length had something to do with it (I saw no reason for this movie to be so long), but I also just didn't find the premise to be all that interesting and didn't really identify with the titular character at all. I suppose it was just me, but I simply didn't think The Curious Case of Benjamin Button was all that great. As a fun side-game, look at Brad Pitt's IMDB page and see how far back you have to go before you find a truly bad movie. Some would argue that he doesn't even really have one, and has been in 62 movies plus 25 more in production. Hot damn he's awesome.
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Man on Wire (2008)

Director: James Marsh (The King [never saw it, heard it was good], nothing else I've ever heard of)
Stars: Phillipe Petit (the movie doesn't contain actors, its a documentary)
YesNoSoso: 2

An extrodinary documentary about Phillipe Petit's high-wire walk between the Twin Towers in 1974. When I first heard of this documentary it was accompanied by lots of hype but I was skeptical. How could a movie about a high-wire act entertain me for two entire hours? But Man on Wire is stylized as more of a caper documentary than anything else. Highly entertaining and beautifully shot.
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The Virgin Suicides (1999)

Director: Sofia Coppola (Lost in Translation, Marie Antoinette [never saw it, but heard it was good])
Stars: Kirsten Dunst (Spiderman II, Spiderman III)
James Woods (Casino, Scary Movie 2)
YesNoSoso: 2

I believe this is Sofia Coppola's best movie, although I've never fully forgiven her for ruining Godfather III and I don't think Lost in Translation was the beautiful piece of art that everybody else seems to think [it is a YesNoSoso 1]. This movie has a very good cast including Dunst, Woods, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito and Josh Hartnett and is actually contains a very compelling story (unlike say...Lost in Translation). A very under appreciated movie.
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Primer (2004)

Director: Shane Carruth (literally nothing else)
Stars: Shane Carruth (see above)
David Sullivan (nothing of consequence)
YesNoSoso: 2

I found this on a list of movies that originated at Sundance and went on to have cult followings. It was the only movie on the list that I didn't love, mostly because I'd never heard of it. It followed suit with its fellow Sundance alumni. Primer received a YesNoSoso 2 on a purely "it was so confusing I have to watch it again" basis, but I enjoy that in a movie. Check out the IMDB page: this movie is as pure of an autueristic vision as I've ever seen. The director/writer/actor/sound composer/etc Shane Carruth, an engineer by trade, wanted to make a new type of time travel movie and didn't want to dumb it down at all. What you get is an extremely technical but thoroughly entertaining time travel movie that is like nothing you've ever seen before. Don't go in thinking your gonna see Time Cop 2, but also don't expect one viewing to be enough to fully grasp its plot.
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Taken (2008)

Director: Pierre Morel (has only directed one other French movie that I've never heard of)
Stars: Liam Neeson (Batman Begins, Evolution)
Maggie Grace ("Lost", The Fog)
YesNoSoso: 2

Ok, so the internet doesn't love this movie (57% on Rotten Tomatoes, 50 on Metacritic) but I am not (that) ashamed to admit that I did. This should come as a surprise to those familiar with my movie tastes. I am usually pretty hard on action flicks because quite frankly they are ususally f-cking terrible. Too many action movies use camera tricks and special effects as a substitute for a plot or interesting characters. While Taken isn't heavy on either, it is solid. Nothing too flashy, just a good old fashion action flick.
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Observe and Report (2009)

Director: Jody Hill ("Eastbound and Down", The Foot Fist Way [I've never seen it, but its the only other thing he's directed])
Stars: Seth Rogan (Superbad, Horton Hears a Who!)
Anna Faris (Brokeback Mountain, My Super Ex-Girlfriend)
YesNoSoso: 1

I always say: I'll give a movie more credit if it tries something new and fails then if its just regurgitated hackneyed bullshit (I'm looking at you Couple's Retreat). Observe and Report definitely fits the former. Its a super dark comedy that, I felt, was pretty light on the comedy. It tried but just failed. However I'm willing to admit I may not have been in the right state of mind for its humor and would be remiss not to mention that I said the same thing the first time I watched Anchorman. So check it out, but don't expect much.
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Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966)

Director: Mike Nichols (The Graduate, The Birdcage)
Stars: Elizabeth Taylor (A Place in the Sun, Giant [I don't care what AFI says, other than James Dean, that movie sucked])
Richard Burton (some famous movies I've never seen)
YesNoSoso: 2

A really entertaining movie about the most awkward after party of all time. Taylor and Burton play an unhappily married couple inviting a young couple over for drinks after a party they mutually attended. The alcohol and bitter feelings create incredibly uneasy conversations exposing entirely inappropriate skeletons in their closet. The presence of the young and supposedly happy couple serves to solidify just how prevalent relationship issues are. A quality character study and an entertaining movie.
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Hot Fuzz (2007)

Director: Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, some other British crap I've never heard of)
Stars: Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, Run Fatboy Run)
Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead, nothing else I've ever heard of)
YesNoSoso: 1

Not as good as Shaun of the Dead. I realize movies should stand alone when being critiqued, but you, myself and everybody else who saw this movie was likely hoping to see Shaun of the Dead II. Maybe not as a plot extension but as a vehicle of similar humor and wit. Hot Fuzz isn't that movie. Don't get me wrong: its not bad and I did enjoy my 2 hours, but its simply not that funny and/or clever. See it, but don't go out of your way to rent it.
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Valkyrie (2008)

Director: Bryan Singer (The Usual Suspects, Superman Returns)
Stars: Tom Cruise (Minority Report, Cocktail)
Kenneth Branagh (Frankenstein, Wild Wild West)
YesNoSoso: 0

I'm sorry, I really tried to enjoy this movie. I know I always say I try and desire to go into every movie as fresh as possible but I really wanted the writer/director team behind The Usual Suspects to pull out a win and go on to make more movies of that caliber. Its not that this movie was atrociously bad, it just didn't hold me for any extended period of time. The very definition of bland. And watching Nazi's talk in British accents is inexplicably infuriating. I'm sure some of you will find it good enough for a watch, but I wanted my time back.
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Funny People (2009)

Director: Judd Apatow (40 Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up [both are decent])
Stars: Adam Sandler (Billy Madison, Mr. Deeds)
Seth Rogen (Superbad, Horton Hears a Who!)
YesNoSoso: 1

I am one of the only people in the country that didn't absolutely love 40 Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up. I just didn't think they were that funny and that's kind of what I'm looking for in my comedies. They were solid YesNoSoso 1's but not the comedies of a generation that they seem to be made out to be. I think Funny People is a solid step up from Apatow's previous two works but is still nothing more than an enjoyable two hours (or rather I wish it was only two hours). Funny People has an original plot with an excellent performance by Sander (even though its as much of a stretch for him as 8-mile was for Eminem). Check it out cause its a good movie but be forewarned: its long and not particuarly funny.
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The Hurt Locker (2009)

Director: Kathryn Bigelow (Point Break, K-19: The Widowmaker)
Stars: Jeremy Renner (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, S.W.A.T.)
Ralph Fiennes (In Bruges, Maid in Manhattan)
YesNoSoso: 2

Dear Hollywood Action Directors: next time you are planning to use a handy cam to film a fight scene, watch Heat or The Hurt Locker, and witness what a realistic action scene feels like. The Hurt Locker is a heart pounding action film with complex characters and pertinent themes. Why can't more movies like this come out every year? I swear to G-d, its fucking September and there have been like 5 movies in 2009 that haven't sucked total ass.
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Bruno (2009)

Director: Larry Charles (Borat, Religulous (supposably very good))
Stars: Sacha Baron Cohen (Borat, Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa)
Gustaf Hammersten (A bunch of German stuff you've never heard of)
YesNoSoso: 1

I laughed pretty consistently throughout the whole movie. If you get squeamish about homosexuality, not only are you not going to like this movie, but its main purpose is to make fun of you. Not nearly as genius as Borat: Cultural Learnings of American for Make Benefit for Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, but still pretty g-ddamn genius. I def enjoyed myself for 2 hours, but can't imagine this movie being very funny on the second viewing.
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Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Director: Shane Black (hasn't directed anything else)
Stars: Robert Downey Jr. (Tropic Thunder, Gothika)
Val Kilmer (True Romance, Batman Forever)
YesNoSoso: 2

Sweet, I found another modern Noir movie. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is more of a comedy than my previous jackpot, Brick, but executes the dark comedy perfectly. Truly hilarious and genuinely enthralling, it would be a waste of my time and a disservice to you to attempt to describe the plot at all. Definitely check it out, but make sure you have your wits about you. Or watch it twice. I already have...
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I Love You, Man (2009)

Director: John Hamburg ("Stella", Along Came Polly)
Stars: Paul Rudd (Role Models, Night at the Museum)
Jason Segal ("Freaks and Geeks", Dead Man on Campus)
YesNoSoso: 1

This movie could feasibly be a YesNoSoso 2 but it was a lot more sappy than I was anticipating. Still it had a number of hilarious moments and was definitely an enjoyable experience. Both Paul Rudd and Jason Segal are the type of rare actor that I will watch regardless of what vehicle they are starring in (Owen Wilson, Will Ferrel and Gary Oldman are also in this club). Check it out, but don't expect to be rolling on the floor.
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Super High Me (2007)

Director: Michael Blieden (some stand up specials, but wrote and starred in Melvin goes to dinner which is fantastic)
Stars: Doug Benson (Mostly a stand up comedian, has had small roles on many comedic efforts)
YesNoSoso: 1

Surprisingly funny documentary filmed almost as a joke. Doug Benson used to make this joke in his stand up that instead eating McDonalds for 30 days like Morgan Spurlock, he would smoke pot for 30 days. Then him and his buddy Michael Blieden decided to actually do it. He didn't imbibe any alcohol and didn't blaze for 30 days before smoking all day every day for 30 days. He took a number of tests (SAT, memory, pychic, a full physical) during both phases and did standup about 3 nights a week. The movie is very funny and also contains interesting information about the subject of Californias "legal" marijuana.
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The Tao of Steve (2000)

Director: Jenniphr Goodwin (hasn't directed anything else)
Stars: Donal Logue (Zodiac, Runaway Bride)
Greer Goodman (nothing really else)
YesNoSoso: 1

Tao of Steve is on the surface a cookie cutter rom com. Womanizing man with low moral compass falls for a woman uninterested in his player ways, reforms and lives happily ever after with once disinterested woman. But Tao of Steve has some very witty dialogue and Donal Logue creates a truly complex character that you honestly care about. It has its funny moments and is definitely an enjoyable 2 hours.
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Run Fatboy Run (2007)

Director: David Schwimmer (hasn't directed anything I've seen or recognize, was Ross from "Friends")
Stars: Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead, How to Lose Friends and Alienate People)
Hank Azaria ("The Simpsons", Godzilla)
YesNoSoso: 0

I would not have guessed that a movie starring Simon Pegg and written by Pegg and Michael Ian Black (from "Stella" and Wet Hot American Summer) would be a YesNoSoso 0. It wasn't the worst movie I'd ever seen and had moments of genuine hilarity, but it was overall bad. The plot felt incredibly stale and there simply wasn't anything particularly entertaining about any aspect of the movie. Skip it.
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Un Coupable Ideal (2001)

Director: Jean-Xavier de Lastrade (Soupcons, nothing else I've ever seen)
Stars: real people, its a documentary
YesNoSoso: 1

I watched Un Coupable Ideal (English version: Murder on a Sunday Morning) because I was blown away by Soupcons (English version: The Staircase) and it was very good. Although, it wasn't as incredible and didn't have as many "but wait..!" moments as The Staircase. Un coupable Ideal was less of a whodunnit and more of a story about a public defender's crusade to save an innocent boy. A real drama thats authenticity really adds to the excitement. Even if I only gave it a YesNoSoso 1, its a solid 1 and I will be checking out more works by Lastrade.
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Blindness (2008)

Director: Fernando Meirelles (City of God, The Constant Gardener)
Stars: Julianne Moore (The Big Lebowski, Nine Months)
Mark Ruffulo (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, 13 Going on 30)
YesNoSoso: 1

I have never wrestled with a YesNoSoso rating more than I did with Blindness. To start with, everybody is well versed in my hard-on for awesome concepts and apocolyptic themes and Blindness has both in spades. In the movie, an unexplained mass epidemic of blindness ravages the world causing a total breakdown in society. Julianne Moore's character is the only person unaffected by the disease and the story follows her and her affected husband, Mark Ruffulo, as they navigate the dangers of a society in collapse. But there were times between the :30 to 1:00 hour mark, where I found the movie to really drag. There were also multiple moments that deeply disturbed me. All in all I'm happy I saw the movie and appreciate the aggressive artistic direction, but wouldn't watch it again.
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Soupcons (The Staircase) (2004)

Director: Jean-Xavier de Lestrade (Un Coupable Ideal [Murder on a Sunday Morning], other french documentaries)
Stars: Michael Peterson (A real person, its a documentary)
YesNoSoso: 2

I apologize, this is another mini-series, but as with Afro Samurai and Generation Kill, it was so good I couldn't help but spread the word. I rented this after David Cross gave it a ringing endorsement on the Adam Corolla Podcast and I will pretty much do whatever David Cross tells me to. It did not disappoint. This is like the greatest Law and Order episode you've ever seen, except its all real.
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The Hangover (2009)

Director: Todd Phillips (Old School, Starsky and Hutch [which wasn't terrible])
Stars: Bradley Cooper (Wedding Crashers, Failure to Launch)
Ed Helms ("The Office", Meet Dave)
YesNoSoso: 2

Hilarious. I knew it would be when the WORST thing I heard about it from the multitude of people who saw it before me was that it wasn't as good as Old School. Most people absolutely loved it and for good reason. I agree that it wasn't as funny as Old School, but I thought it was a better movie. I felt Old School was a really flimsy plot loosely constructed to put really funny people in really funny situations. I was genuinely curious what was going to happen next in The Hangover, almost as if I was watching a mystery AND it put really funny people in really funny situations. Just an excellent movie all around.
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The Hammer (2007)

Director: Charles Herman-Wurmfeld ("Stella", Legally Blonde 2: Red White and Blonde)
Stars: Adam Corolla ("Crank Yankers", "Drawn Together" [both pretty solid])
Heather Juergensen (Kissing Jessica Stein [never seen it, but hear its a solid rom-com])
YesNoSoso: 2

This was a really pleasant surprise. I Tivo'ed The Hammer because Adam Corolla constantly pimps it on his podcast (which I highly recommend, just go to iTunes/podcasts and search for it, its free). Although being known more for his angry rants, Corolla does a pretty decent job acting and his supporting cast is more than adequate. There are several very funny scenes where the camera was clearly kept running while Corolla went of on an angry tirade and they edited it down to rapid fire jokes. A definite watch.
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Generation Kill (2008)

Director: Susanna White/Simon Cellan Jones (Some TV shit I've never heard of)
Stars: Alexander Skarsgard (Zoolander, "True Blood" [I've never seen the show but I've heard good things)
James Ransone ("The Wire", "The Third Watch")
YesNoSoso: 2

I was hesitant to even put this on YesNoSoso, seeing as it was a mini-series on HBO, but it only had seven episodes and was awesome so I thought I'd spread the word. From the same writers as "The Wire", Generation Kill tells the story of the first Recon Marine Battalion in the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Like "The Wire" its full of pithy dialogue and vastly complex characters and it does an incredible job of parlaying the frenetic/mind-numbingly-boring duality of war.
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Straw Dogs (1971)

Director: Sam Peckinpah (The Wild Bunch, no other movie I've heard of, much less seen)
Stars: Dustin Hoffman (Marathon Man, Ishtar)
Susan George (literally nothing else I've ever heard of)
YesNoSoso: 1

Pretty awesome story of nerd who gets pushed too far. Dustin Hoffman plays a mathematician looking to escape the war protests of campus-life to get some work done in his new wife's small home town in Great Britain. Tension ensues between the local ruffians, who resent his intellectualism and his wife's flirtations. It may be a little slow in the middle but the asskicking Dustin Hoffman's character delivers in the end is totally worth the wait (not that I have pent up nerd dreams of revenge against bullies or anything). Oh and there's an oft-cited, very famous rape scene.
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Letters from Iwo Jima (2007)

Director: Clint Eastwood (Unforgiven, Flags of our Fathers)
Stars: Ken Watanabe (Batman Begins, Memoirs of a Geisha)
Some Japanese people you've never heard of
YesNoSoso: 2

The companion piece to Letters from Iwo Jima, Flags of our Fathers, was a steaming pile of boring shit so I was less than optimistic about this one. But it was actually quite good. Perhaps it was the mere fact that it offered a stark departure from the classic (and vastly overdone) WWII film in that it was told from the perspective of the Japanese soldiers. Clint provides some very in depth character development (par for the course) all while doing (almost) the entire movie in Japanese with English subtitles. After seeing this and Apocalypto I actually considered that maybe it is easier to develop in-depth characters in a language other than the viewers native tongue. Then I realized that was a stupid theory. I think these movies stand out and seem like they have such amazing characters because they are developed DESPITE being in a foreign language. Like someone who can juggle knives is pretty impressive, but if you can juggle knives while riding a unicycle that's something special. Also there's a Lion.
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Sunshine (2007)

Director: Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire, The Beach [not that bad])
Stars: Cliff Curtis (Three Kings, 10,000 BC)
Cillian Murphy (Batman Begins, Red Eye)
YesNoSoso: 2

Bizarre, but awesome. I have to admit, I will have to watch this movie again to fully understand what happened. I think readers of YesNoSoso are well versed in my hard-on for awesome concepts and this movie is no different. In Sunshine a bunch of astronauts are sent to the Sun in the year 2057 to reignite it, kind of like Armageddon. Unlike Armageddon, the ensemble cast they employed to act as the crew can actually...act (my apologies to Steve Buscemi). Also there is a supernatural and spiritual element to the plot that makes an interesting balance to the technical aspect of the science fiction genre.
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The Constant Gardner (2005)

Director: Fernando Meirelles (City of God, Blindness [which I didn't see but looked good])
Stars: Ralph Fiennes (Schindler's List, Maid in Manhattan)
Rachel Weisz (The Fountain, The Mummy)
YesNoSoso: 1

I expect more from the guy who directed City of God. Its not that it was bad, I actually (as the YesNoSoso 1 implies) enjoyed my 2 hours. I suppose my expectations were too high on account of City of God being so out-of-this-world incredible. A good, albeit predictable, plot with obviously great performances make this film about drug companies in Africa a definite watch, just don't expect to be blown away.
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Lars and the Real Girl (2006)

Director: Craig Gillespie (Mr. Woodcock, "United States of Tara" [I haven't seen either and haven't really heard anything about either)
Stars: Ryan Gosling (Murder by Numbers [which was alright], The Notebook)
Paul Schneider (The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, Live Free or Die)
YesNoSoso: 2

This was a pleasant surprise. I put Lars and the Real Girl on my Blockbuster queue because I was intrigued by the concept, but expected the movie to be light on substance. It was actually an extremely warm and well executed film. Nothing special, but solid performances all around and a genuinely good feel. I had no idea Ryan Gosling could actually act.
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Terminator: Salvation (2009)

Director: McG (Charlie's Angels, We are Marshall [both sucked unbelievable balls])
Stars: Christian Bale (The Dark Knight, Reign of Fire)
Sam Worthington (Hart's War [This is the only movie of his I've even heard of, never seen it though)
YesNoSoso: 0

What a steaming pile of dog poo. This movie has absolutely nothing to offer except action (which is that good) and a hot chick (awesomely named Moon Bloodgood). Christian Bale completely phones it in and there is zero plot and absolutely awful dialogue. There were multiple occasions when the audience started laughing at very serious but poorly delivered and placed lines. Never see this movie. Your welcome.
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JCVD (2008)

Director: Mabrouk El Mechri (some French crap you've never heard of)
Stars: Jean-Claude Van Damme (Bloodsport, Double Team)
A bunch of French people you've never heard of
YesNoSoso: 0

The concept of this movie is one of the most original and incredible I've heard in a long time. Jean-Claude Van Damme plays Jean-Claude Van Damme, aging and struggling to find work. Fighting to gain custody of his child, JCVD suddenly finds himself in the middle of a bank robbery. I know, it sounds awesome, its just not. The movie has some cool, JCVD-type action (a lot of badguys staying still while JCVD does some ridiculous moves) but it really drags. The knowledge of its existence provides more cinematic satisfaction than actually watching.
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Brick (2005)

Director: Rian Johnson (nothing else, directed the new Brothers Bloom movie)
Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt (The Miracle at St Anna [which was ok], 10 Things I Hate About You]
Richard Roundtree (Se7en, Shaft)
YesNoSoso: 2

I feel like I've been saying this a lot lately (Apocolypto) but this was definitely one of the best movies I've seen in years. Although this time around I admit my bias's may be a factor. I love Noir movies (Maltese Falcon, The Big Sleep, to a lesser extent Sin City) and this is a Noir movie set in present day high school. The plot revolves around a high school outsider solving his ex girlfriends murder. All the characters are hyper intelligent and talk with quick and extremely witty dialogue. An Emphatic 2.
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Y tu Mama Tambien (2001)

Director: Alfonso Cuaron (Children of Men, Great Expectations)
Stars: Gael Garcia Bernal (Amores Perros, The Science of Sleep [both pretty awesome flicks])
Diego Luna (The Terminal [which was OK], Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights)
YesNoSoso: 2

DISCLAIMER: If you are homophobic at all, or just plain uncomfortable with homosexuality, this movie will be a YesNoSoso 0. I usually think about what I'm going to write for my review while I'm watching the movie. This one started off with: "If you don't mind the homosexual undertones..." and then those undertones turned into overt overtones. I hate to imply that homosexual motiffs make a movie less enjoyable so lets just lay this all on the table. I would consider myself to be about as socially liberal as you get, but I still don't like watching 2 dudes make out. I'm sorry, I guess that makes me a bad person, but I really enjoyed this movie so thats gotta count for something.
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Synecdoche, New York (2008)

Director: Charlie Kaufman (directorial debut, but one of the greatest writers ever)
Stars: Philip Seymour Hoffman (25th Hour, Patch Adams)
Catherine Keener (Being John Malkovich, Out of Sight)
YesNoSoso: 2

I'm gonna give this one the literal YesNoSoso 2, meaning I want to watch it again, but not because it I was so enthralling. Don't get me wrong, I was thoroughly entertained by the typical Kaufman quirkiness but this one was even stranger than some of his previous works. All his movies have required AT LEAST a second viewing for me to fully appreciate them and I'm sure Synecdoche, New York is no different. As with all his movies, there is still an impressive amount of detail, with no lack of wit and PSH is amazing as always.
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Apocalypto (2006)

Director: Mel Gibson (Braveheart, Last Temptation of Christ)
Stars: Rudy Youngblood (nothing else really)
nobody else really
YesNoSoso: 2

This movie blew me away. Say what you will about Mel Gibson and his antisemitism, the man understands plot development (shout out to Matt and Trey for that one). Mel Gibson basically took the "chase" genre down to its most simplistic and humanistic form and wrapped it around a period piece looking at the breakdown of the Mayan civilization. One of the best movies I've seen in a while.
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Black Snake Moan (2006)

Director: Craig Brewer (Hustle and Flow, nothing else I've heard of)
Stars: Samuel L Jackson (Jungle Love, Snakes on a Plane)
Christina Ricci (Buffalo 66, That Darn Cat!)
YesNoSoso: 2

This movie flew completely under the radar. I barely remember it being released other than it being an awesome movie title and starring Justin Timberlake. Its actually very good; its got tons of blues music (most actually sung by Samuel L Jackson) and Christina Ricci chained to a radiator (she has one of the greatest bodies on earth). Definitely worth checking out.
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Afro Samurai: Resurrection (2009)

Director: Fuminori Kizaki (Afro Samurai)
Stars: Samuel L Jackson (Pulp Fiction, Deep Blue Sea)
Lucy Liu (Kill Bill: Volume 1, Charlie's Angels)
YesNoSoso: 2

It's just as good as the first Afro Samurai. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if the title alone doesn't make you want to see it, you're reading the wrong movie blog. If knowing it stars Samuel L Jackson as the voice of Afro and that the music is done by RZA doesn't make you GZA in your pants a little bit, close the browser and open up perezhilton.com. That is all.
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The Ten (2007)

Director: David Wain (Wet Hot American Summer, Role Models)
Stars: Paul Rudd (Romeo + Juliet, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers)
Winona Ryder (Edward Scissorhands, Mr. Deeds)
YesNoSoso: 1

This is the worst of David Wain's three movies. It feels like its stuck inbetween the utter absurdity of Wet Hot and the realistic framing of Role Models. The Ten is really more of a collection of short sketchs loosely connected with a Ten Commandments theme. Some of the "skits" are hilarious and some are just not funny. If you are a State/Stella fan, then you will probably enjoy it, but i'm sure you will agree it could use more of the Michaels (Showalter and Ian Black...)
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The Reader (2008)

Director: Stephen Daldry (Billy Elliot, The Hours [didn't really like either one])
Stars: Kate Winslet (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Titanic)
Ralph Fiennes (In Bruges, Maid in Manhatten)
YesNoSoso: 1

The Reader was alright. Not that good, not particularly bad and Kate Winslet's performance was particularly underwhelming. When the Oscars were on I was enlightened, by my roommate, to the fact that the Oscars are like the Super Bowl for women. I didn't realize this and was rather disappointed in the viewing preferences of the opposite sex (but not very surprised). That was until the Best Actress category came up and my roommate (a relatively well-informed movie enthusiast) said, "God, I hope Kate Winslet wins." To which I replied "Have you even seen The Reader?" To which she stated she hadn't, causing irreparable and permanent strain on our relationship. Check it out I suppose, but prepared to be disappointed.
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Recount (2008)

Director: Jay Roach (Meet the Parents, Austin Powers in Goldmember)
Stars: Kevin Spacey (LA Confidential, Pay it Forward)
Laura Dern (Wild at Heart, Jurassic Park III)
YesNoSoso: 1

I almost gave this a YesNoSoso 2. I loved it but I realized that my biased love of well made political themed movies was clouding my judgment. Still it is a very well made movie, that is surprisingly entertaining considering you know the ending and its not pretty. There was a moment were I actually caught myself being hopeful that Gore would win. It also sports an amazing cast including Ed Begley Jr., John Hurt, Denis Leary and the entirley underrated, Tom Wilkinson and Bob Balaban.
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Akira (1988)

Director: Katsuhiro Otomo (some Japanese anime shit I've never heard of)
Stars: No One (There are multiple different versions with different voices, none of which I've heard of)
YesNoSoso: 0

Akira is the Citizen Kane of Anime in that it fundamentally changed the artform. Before Akira, Japanese animation generally cut costs on the visual effects, animated just the moving mouths and not to the words they were saying (think the cartoon on the TV that Butch falls asleep to in Pulp Fiction). Then Akira came along and painted, for the time, illustrious visuals with complex moving parts. But by today's standards, the animation is crappy and combined with the rough translation, makes for an unenjoyable movie experience. Although reading the wikipedia synopsis of the plot made me want view it a second time (the plot sounds pretty cool), all I had to do was remember how I struggled through it the first time to curb that desire. If you are a movie buff and would like the cross "seeing the movie that made Anime" then see it, if not, don't.
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Let the Right One In (2008)

Director: Tomas Alfredson (Some Swedish shit I've never heard of)
Stars: Kare Hedebrant (Nothing else)
Lina Leandersson (Nothing else)
YesNoSoso: 1

I heard a lot of really good things about this Swedish vampire movie, but mostly it was a disappointment. Perhaps I built it up in my mind too much, but I just thought it didn't bring enough of a new spin to a very well traveled path. Don't get me wrong, it was a good movie, but its more of a tween love story than a vampire movie, and not a very entertaining one at that. Still as far as vampire/monster movies go, its certainly in the upper echelon and worth checking out.
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Role Models (2008)

Director: David Wain (Wet Hot American Summer, "Stella"
Stars: Paul Rudd (Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy, Clueless)
Seann William Scott (American Pie, American Wedding)
YesNoSoso: 2

Hilarious. A lot more true to reality than Wain's opus, Wet Hot American Summer, but with plenty of tongue-in-cheek references for the enthusiastic. For as many horrible movies as Seann William Scott has done I still like the guy (seriously click on his IMDB link above, its basically a list of what not to watch), and Paul Rudd is infallibly hilarious, definitely one of my favorite actors. McLovin (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) and the Tracey Jordan Jr. (Bobb'e J Thompson) are the perfect complementary ensemble.
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Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take 2 1/2 (2005)

Director: William Greeves (Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take 1, nothing else I've heard of)
Stars: Noone I've ever heard of
YesNoSoso: 0

You can read my review of Symbiopsychotaxiplam: Take 1 and it will be precisely the same for the redux. Apparently this movie is a big deal in the film community for its adventurist concept because it got Steven Soderbergh (Traffic) and Steve Buscemi to executive produce a revisiting of it. Which is just as boring as the original, BUT with a Q & A with some key players! Skip it.
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Symbiopsychotaxiplasm: Take One (1968)

Director: William Greeves (I haven't heard of anything else he's done)
Stars: No one famous
YesNoSoso: 0

Listen to the idea William Greeves envisioned for this movie: Audition film students to act in a movie, continually acting out the same scene. Then Greeves hired a crew to film a "making-of" and concurrently had a crew filming the crew hired to film the "making-of". Greeves purposedly filmed the "actual" movie terribly in order to incite a rebellion among the crew, a rebellion that actually does occur when the crew changes the ending to the movie (that didn't really exist in the first place). If that didn't make any sense to you, don't worry about it, the movie is extremely boring, unless you enjoy pompus film-school douchebags talking in airs of self-importance.
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The Miracle of St Anna (2008)

Director: Spike Lee (Do the Right Thing, The Original Kings of Comedy)
Stars: Derek Luke (Spartan, Biker Boyz)
Michael Ealy (Barbershop [I guess...the movie was ok...], 2 Fast 2 Furious)
YesNoSoso: 1

Another movie spent debating the warranted application of a YesNoSoso 0 or 1. This one slightly different then my experience with The Pope of Greenwich Village in that I had read all the terrible reviews, but my affinity for Spike Lee wouldn't allow me to believe the negativity. Alas, it was pretty bad. The movie contained some of Spike Lee's signature sylistic elements, which was cool, but it also contained a good number of ludicrous plot elements. Also the ending sucks.
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The Pope of Greenwich Village (1984)

Director: Stuart Rosenberg (Cool Hand Luke, The Amityville Horror [both pretty good, but I haven't seen or heard of any of his other movies])
Stars: Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler, Double Team)
Eric Roberts (The Dark Knight, Phat Girlz)
YesNoSoso: 1

I received so many ringing endorsements of this movie I was surprised to be spending a majority of the movie figuring out whether it was YesNoSoso 1 or 0. Perhaps my dislike had to do with this being one of the original modern gangster movies, and since filmmakers have spent the last 25 years building on the genre, it seemed hackneyed. Who knows? But I was bored. Plus it ends rather anti-climatically and unresolved. Geraldine Page's speech to the police investigating her son's murder is one of the few shining lights making this movie barely worth the time to view it.
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Watchmen (2009)

Director: Zack Snyder (300, Micheal Jordan's: Playground)
Stars: Billy Crudup (Almost Famous, Mission: Impossible III)
Patrick Wilson (Running with Scissors, Lakeview Terrace)
YesNoSoso: 2

Yes, I actually saw a movie in a theater, but I wanted to see it in IMAX, which was impossible since Watchmen got bumped in favor of Monsters vs Aliens and Under the Sea 3D (fuck you Dreamworks...and I suppose whoever made Under the Sea 3D). So I watched on the regular 30 foot movie screen like a commoner, and it was still quite awesome. The main complaints I've been hearing from people and the blogosphere (LOVE that word) are that its too long and the ending sucks (also that there is too much blue penis). I can definitely identify with both of these complaints (the blue penis was barely present and was certainly not "in your face", you really had to go out of your way to look at it. If your into that sort of thing). I was riveted to the screen for the first 2 hours of the movie but started wishing it would just end for the last half an hour. But still I don't know what should've been cut, this may be a case where I need to get my ADHD in check and just suck it up. I had no qualms with the ending, I just don't see any real reason they couldn't have just filmed the graphic novel's ending. Maybe a giant tentacle guy would've been too hard to believe or something. Pussies. All in all I am extremely happy with Snyder's Watchmen. To say I was upset when I found out a Watchmen movie was being made would be an understatement. I've always viewed Watchmen as the quintesessntial product of its medium and I was having a hard time believing a director (while resisting producers) would be able to accuratley portray its themes. Much like I don't think Citizen Kane would make a good book, I didn't think a Watchmen movie would work either. While the movie is nowhere near as complete as the book, Snyder did as good of a job as could be expected and has created a rather amazing peice of cinema.
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Gonzo: The Life and Works of Hunter S Thompson (2008)

Director: Alex Gibney (I've never seen anything else he's directed, but supposedly he's a very respected Documentarian [not a real word])
Stars: Johnny Depp (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Astronaut's Wife)
Tom Wolfe (hasn't really acted in anything)
YesNoSoso: 1

I will say that this was a pretty good documentary, but it was still a documentary and I can think of only a handful of documentaries that I would watch a second time (King of Kong: Fistful of Quarters and Hoop Dreams come to mind). If you are a Hunter S Thompson fan you will more than likely love this documentary and I would venture that someone who has never even heard of Hunter would find it even more interesting. Dr Thompson was an amazing man, on account of both his skills and his debauchery. The world is a much less interesting place without him.
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Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008)

Director: Nicholas Stoller (his first movie)
Stars: Jason Segel ("Freaks and Geeks", Slackers)
Kristen Bell (Spartan, "Gossip Girl")
YesNoSoso: 2

Call me crazy, but I didn't think either 40 Year Old Virgin or Knocked Up was anything special. Solid YesNoSoso 1's but nothing more. Which is probably why I put off watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall for so long. That was a mistake. This movie isn't rolling on the floor hilarious, but it is has plenty of hilarious parts and is an overall enjoyable movie. Jason Segel is probably my favorite of all of Apatow's cronies and the supporting cast is both hilarious (e.g. Bill Hader) and gorgeous (Mila Kunis). I also thought I would hate Russel Brand, but I found him to be suprisingly funny, which just goes to show you: although annoying with terrible teeth, the Brits CAN serve a purpose to society.
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Spirited Away (2001)

Director: Hazao Miyazaki (Ponyo on the Cliff, Princess Mononoke [I haven't seen either but I hear they are amazing])
Stars: Daveigh Chase (Donnie Darko, Artificial Intelligence: AI)
James Marsden ("Afro Samurii", "Blossom")
YesNoSoso: 2

This is a kids movie. If you can't watch a movie and appreciate it in spite of it not being your favorite genre then you will not like this movie. It doesn't include jokes only adults will understand like the Pixar movies do, but it is incredible none-the-less. Miyazaki has been enjoying immense popularity in Japan for some time now, and if you want further proof of his established reverence look and at the cast of actors that did voice work for the English version of Ponyo on the Cliff. If you can get past the cheesy Japanese-to-English, made-for-children dialogue, you'll be treated to a (and this is really gonna sound fanboy geek) an amazingly inventive world, as visually stunning as it is original.
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4 Months, 3 Weeks, 2 Days (2007)

Director: Christian Mungiu (some Romanian shit you've never heard of)
Stars: Anamaria Marinca (Youth Without Youth [Coppola's latest movie, havent' seen it], some Romanian shit you've never heard of)
Laura Vasiliu (some Romanina shit you've never heard of)
YesNoSoso: 1

A movie about obtaining an abortion in Soviet Bloc Romania in the 80's and its about as horrible as that sounds. In a country where the only place you can buy cigarettes is on the Black Market, imagine how unsanitary and horrific it is trying to get an abortion. Honestly the worst part of the movie wasn't the graphic as fuck shot (when you see it, you'll know what I'm referring to), or the actual procedure, but the "doctor" explaining what the procedure entails. I have a feeling that was the point. Definitely worth checking out, but is incredibly slow in parts.
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The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Director: Louis Leterrier (The Transporter 2 [which sucked ass])
Stars: Edward Norton (Fight Club, The Italian Job)
Liv Tyler (The Lord of the Rings, Armageddon)
YesNoSoso: 0

I appreciate the effort of skipping the entire origin story and the beginning subplot of Bruce Banner trying to control the Hulk through meditation and training, but it doesn't deliver on an entertaining movie. Look, Hollywood, I know you want to make a Hulk movie, but perhaps our CGI/Special effects just aren't up to snuff yet to legitimately pull it off. I literally went to the kitchen and made a sandwich when The Hulk and The Abomination were fighting, I just can't get into those CGI fight scenes (The Neo/Mr Smith brawl in the second Matrix comes to mind). And the best Hulk villain you can come up with is essentially another Hulk? How boring is that?
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Afro Samurai (2007)

Director: Takashi Okazaki (He was the creator, hasn't really done anything else)
Stars: Samuel L. Jackson (Pulp Fiction, xXx)
Ron Perlman (Hellboy, Looney Tunes: Back in Action)
YesNoSoso: 2

If the title alone doesn't instantly make you want to watch this movie than you should exit from this blog and go pick up a copy of Tiger Beat. Afros? Good. Samurai? Good. Awesome anime fight sequences? Good. Music by RZA? Great. Granted, it isn't really a movie (more of a TV miniseries) and the dialogue is a little anime style cheezy, but all the aforementioned "Good"'s more than make up.
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Baby Mama (2008)

Director: Michael McCullers (first movie directed, but he wrote Undercover Brother [awesome] and Goldmember [sucked])
Stars: Tina Fey (Mean Girls, Beer League)
Amy Poehler (Wet Hot American Summer, Envy)
YesNoSoso: 2

I can't really point to anything in this movie that I thought was particularly hilarious, but it was in fact hilarious. Just like Fey's NBC comedy "30 Rock" (which is hands down the best show on TV) impeccable timing and a subtle tongue in cheek delivery style make the movie richly humorous. Considering how many comedies are truly terrible and/or outrageously stupid, its always a pleasure to watch a genuinely funny movie that isn't retarded. I'm looking at you Meet the Spartans.
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A Prairie Home Companion (2006)

Director: Robert Altman (The Player, Popeye)
Stars: Meryl Streep (Deer Hunter, Death Becomes Her)
Kevin Kline (The Ice Storm, In and Out)
YesNoSoso: 0

At first I wrote: "This movie should be viewed by all if only to get a better understanding of the long standing American tradition that is A Prairie Home Companion" but I'm changing my stance. This movie, which tells a day in the life of the Saturday evening live radio show, boasts a impressive Altman-style ensemble cast of Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, Garrison Keiller (the show's founder and leader), Lindsay Lohan, Virginia Madsen, John C Reilly, Maya Rudolph, and Lily Tomlin. But the movie is mostly a 2 hour long folk music concert with an extremely flimsy plot tying the performances together (the Virginia Madsen as the Angel of Death is especially bad). The movie does have a nice folksy charm, reminding one of better times, and would be nice for a family or if you are just in for a feel good show, but unless you are in one of those very specific demographics (or you just want to know more about Prairie Home companion) skip it.
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In the Valley of Elah (2007)

Director: Paul Haggis (Crash, Red Hot [To be fair, i haven't seen Red Hot but its the only other feature film he's directed])
Stars: Tommy Lee Jones (No Country for Old Men, Volcano)
Charlize Theron (That Thing You Do!, Mighty Joe Young)
YesNoSoso: 2

This movie is incredible. If you don't mind not being cheered up by your movies, definitely check this movie out. Amazing performances by all involved and another amazingly intricate Paul Haggis screenplay make this movie a must watch. Here's a fun game: See if its harder to find a legitimately good movie in Charlize Theron's resume (I settled for one where she had an incredibly minor role) or trying to pick just one awful one. And she is widely considered one of the best actress's around. Fuck you Hollywood.
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Burn After Reading (2008)

Director: Joel and Ethan Coen (The Big Lebowski, Fargo [both incredible, I refuse to badmouth the Coen brothers])
Stars: George Clooney (The Good German, Leatherheads)
Frances McDormand (Short Cuts, Something's Gotta Give)
YesNoSoso: 2

I know there are those that will disagree with me, but I've at least enjoyed every single Coen brothers movie (Yes, even Ladykillers) and loved most of them. Burn After Reading wasn't hilarious like The Big Lebowski and I would be supremely surprised if it garnered the same cult following, but it is definitely made in the same style and is definitely worth checking out. Burn After Reading is relatively complex comedic crime caper (how bout that alliteration) with a kick-ass ensemble cast that includes John Malkovitch, Tilda Swinton, Brad Pitt, with the ridiculously underrated J.K. Simmons and Richard Jenkins.
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Born of the Fourth of July (1989)

Director: Oliver Stone (Platoon, World Trade Center)
Stars: Tom Cruise (Mission: Impossible, Cocktails)
Kyra Sedgewick (Singles, The Woodsman [I guess, this bitch has been in like 50 movies and I've heard of 3 of them, seen none of them])
YesNoSoso: 1

The more Oliver Stone movies I see the less I like him. Obviously I started out by watching his best (Wall Street, Any Given Sunday [fuck you that movie is awesome], Platoon) but the more I see his older less seen movies, and his newer shittier ones, the less I respect him. This movie is one of them. Good movie, don't get me wrong. As I always say on this blog and as the basis for my rating system, I enjoyed my 2 hours. Except this movie was three and a half hours long. So in actuality there were about 1.5 hours that I wasn't enjoying. But in the spirit of the rule, I am glad I saw this movie and it should def be seen.
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Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008)

Director: Guillermo del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth, Blade II)
Stars: Ron Perlman ("Batman: The Animated Series", Police Academy: Mission to Moscow)
Selma Blair (Cruel Intentions, A Guy Thing)
YesNoSoso: 2

Sooooo cool. I will fully admit that if Guillermo hadn't directed this movie it would have probably been an emphatic 0, but he did, so its not. Imagine the same awesome effects seen in Pan's Labyrinth combined with a relatively interesting comic book Hero storyline and you have the Hellboy series. Del Toro is somehow able to tell a fairly complicated story laced with ludicrous characters without making it seem ludicrous.
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I'm Not There (2007)

Director: Todd Haynes (Far from Heaven [I've never seen anything else he's done, but hear this is good])
Stars: Christian Bale (Batman Begins, Reign of Fire)
Cate Blanchett (The Good German, The Gift)
YesNoSoso: 2

6 different actors play 6 different "aspects" of Bob Dylan's persona: the Poet (A British actor I've never heard of), the Musician (Christian Bale), the Troubadour (a little black kid), the Actor (Heath Ledger), The Drugged Out Counter Culturist (Cate Blanchett) and the Mystical Outlaw (Richard Gere). If that doesn't immediatly incite your desire to see this movie stop reading this blog. Seriously. YesNoSoso is no place for your damn negative attitude.
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Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2007)

Director: Jake Kasdan (The TV Set, Orange County)
Stars: John C Reilly (Boogie Nights, The Perfect Storm)
Jenna Fischer ("The Office", Blades of Glory)
YesNoSoso: 1

The movie doesn't exactly have a multitude of laughs, but it makes fun of the Oscar statue coupon that is the musician biopic (re: Ray, Walk the Line, etc) and has a number of other amusing aspects that make it a definite watch. The story is good enough and watching the menagerie of current stars play old musicians is awesome. Just to name a few: Jack White as Elvis, Frankie Munoz as Buddy Holly, and quartet of very famous actors playing The Beatles. Definitely check it out but don't expect to laugh your ass off.
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Gran Torino (2008)

Director: Clint Eastwood (Unforgiven, Flags of Our Fathers)
Stars: Clint Eastwood (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Space Cowboys)
Bee Vang (first movie)
YesNoSoso: 1

I know I am shocked as you are by the rating. I love Clint Eastwood movies, well for the most part (fuck you Blood Work), but this movie simply had too many faults to be a great movie. Don't get me wrong. I thouroughly enjoyed my 2 hours and there is a possibility that I watch it again, but the movie's hilarity (who know Clint had comedic timing) does not outweigh a mediocre plot and Bee's terrible acting.
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Wall E (2008)

Director: Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo, A Bug's Life [I was luke warm on both of these])
Stars: Jeff Garlin ("Curb Your Enthusiasm", Daddy Day Care)
Sigourney Weaver (Alien, Galaxy Quest)
YesNoSoso: 2

As stated before, I love Pixar movies. And this movie instantly became my favorite. I'm not entirely ready to knock The Incredibles off the top spot, but Wall E is at least tied. How an animator can make a cartoon robot as cuddly and lovable as they did is beyond my realm of comprehension. There was a moment in the movie that I literally had to pause the movie I was laughing so hard. As a fun side note, the voice of Wall E, which doesn't have a whole lot of lines, was done by Ben Burtt, quite possibly the most famous Sound Technician of all time (he worked on Star Wars). And yes you did just witness another Emphatic 2...
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Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

Director: Danny Boyle (Trainspotting, The Beach)
Stars: Dev Patel (An Indian you've never heard of)
Freida Pinto (nothing you've ever heard of, but GD is she hot)
YesNoSoso: 1

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie. I had heard from a few reviews that if it hadn't been set in India, it would be the same pre-fab feel good bullsh!t that get regurgitated every Oscar season. Its not. It is an incredible movie with an amazing and thoroughly original story telling device. Well stylized with beautiful cinematography, I can honestly say, that despite my initial misgivings, this movie is as good as the hype. (ed After letting this movie sit for a while, I revising my rating to a 1. It was good, but it really was pre-fab feel good bullsh!t)
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The Wrestler (2008)

Director: Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, Pi [both incredible])
Stars: Mickey Rourke (Sin City, Heaven's Gate)
Marisa Tomei (Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Anger Management)
YesNoSoso: 2

I love Aronofsky and although The Wrestler omits alot of his previous works "gimmicky film school tactics" I still loved it. Alot of critics considered Requiem to contain too many stylized gimmicks to be a truly great film, whereas I think it displayed the perfect blend of edgy style and content. Regardless, The Wrestler signifies a departure from Aronofsky's earlier work. Largely a character study into an aging wrestler, the depth of emotion that is displayed in both Rourke and Tomei's character is truely overwhelming.
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The Golden Compass (2007)

Director: Chris Weitz (American Pie (uncredited), Down to Earth)
Stars: Daniel Craig (Casino Royale, I Dreamed of Africa)
Nicole Kidman (Eyes Wide Shut, The Stepford Wives)
YesNoSoso: 0

This marks one of the few times in my life that I have actually stopped a movie before it was over. If I start a movie I generally stick it out til the end, but this movie was so bad, and I've heard from so many people that the books are incredible that I turned it off about thirty minutes in to save myself for the books. So unless the movie totally redeems itself in the final 1.5 hours, it simply sucks. Perhaps if you had read the books you would find some entertainment value at seeing it on the big screen. But I doubt it.
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Art School Confidential (2006)

Director: Terry Zwigoff (Ghost World, Bad Santa [both great films])
Stars: Max Minghella (Syriana [its the only thing I've seen of his and it was a minor role, his father directed the English Patient])
John Malkovitch (Being John Malkovitch, Johnny English)
YesNoSoso: 2

I didn't even know Zwigoff existed until a few weeks ago and his is instantly making a case to be one of my favorite directors. I loved Bad Santa but didn't recognize any of his other works until I saw Ghost World, which I thought was great. Art School Confidential, like Ghost World, was originally a graphic novel by Daniel Clowes, and I'm not sure if I like the writing or the direction better, but either way it makes an incredible end product. I had read that Art School Confidential was worse than Ghost World, which is entirely untrue. They do have extremely similar feels, but while I liked Ghost World, I loved Art School Confidential. I'm even toying with giving this movie the exclusive Emphatic 2 tag, which effectively highlights my issues with the Rotten Tomatoes aggregator. RT gave ATC a 37%.
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Sullivan's Travels (1941)

Director: Preston Sturges (Never heard of anything else he's done)
Stars: Joel McCrea (Never heard of anything else he's done)
Veronica Lake (Surprise! Never heard of anything else she's done)
YesNoSoso: 2

One of the many movies on one of the AFI 100 lists that I was convinced I was going to hate prior to viewing that ended up really liking. Other than this movie being in black and white, there's no difference than if it had been released 50 years later. Its more endearing, entertaining and funny then 90% of the rom coms that come out now. Even if the plot has been stolen a thousand times over.
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Fistful of Dynamite (1971)

Director: Sergio Leone (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Once Upon a Time in the West [both movies very solid])
Stars: James Coburn (The Magnificent Seven, Snow Dogs)
Rod Steiger (In the Heat of the Night, The Specialist)
YesNoSoso: 2

This barely got a YesNoSoso 2 even with the unacknowledged bias towards Sergio Leone's awesomeness. It is very similar to Leone's Man with No Name Trilogy, except you have to suffer through two great actors doing equally terrible accents and the absence of Clint Eastwood. If you're a Leone fan, check it out, if not, skip it.
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Intolerance (1916)

Director: D.W. Griffith (Birth of a Nation [his most famous work and it still sucks ass, fuck D.W. Griffith])
Stars: Some ugly ass 1916 people who are dead
YesNoSoso: 0

Ever seen the Fountain? If not, just imagine one of the most confusing and intricate movie you've ever seen and try to imagine understanding it without sound. That's what its like to see Intolerance. It is literally intolerable (ZING!) and my rant pertaining to The Jazz Singer applies doubly to Intolerance. The fact that this steaming pile of walrus shit was added to the AFI 100 and Fargo was taken off is an injustice on par with Titanic winning the Best Picture in 1997.
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Shoot 'Em Up (2007)

Director: Michael Davis (100 Girls which sucks and some other stuff I've never seen)
Stars: Clive Owen (Children of Men, The Pink Panther)
Paul Giamatti (American Splendor, Fred Claus)
YesNoSoso: 1

Check it out, but it just simply missed. I have nothing but respect for a filmmaker who takes an obvious risk in trying to deliver a truly original piece, but this just isn't very good. Plus, I trust Clive Owen's judgment in movies so much I will watch ANYTHING he acts in. Seriously, look at his IMDB page. If it wasn't for his uncredited role in The Pink Panther, there's not a single bad movie in the bunch, I would've had to go with King Arthur or Inside Man, and both of those were SOLID YesNoSoso 1's if not YesNoSoso 2's. Shoot 'Em Up has a ludicrously sensational plot and several elaborate gunfights. Combine that with Monica Belucci and its certainly worth a look.
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The Jazz Singer (1927)

Director: Al Crosland (Some old shit you've never heard of)
Stars: Al Jolson (More of a singer than an actor, And some old shit you've never heard of)
YesNoSoso: 0

Technically the first movie with sound, because there's some terrible mumbling sounds while Al sings, but the whole thing is more or less silent. It sucks, it sucks as bad as any movie I've ever seen. Its long as a Catholic church service and even more boring. Why do we insist on putting these movies on Top 100 lists? When people are compiling the 100 best paintings of all time, do they include Ugg's blood drawing of a stick figure on the cave wall? Then why include this archaic piece of shit?
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Death Proof (2007)

Director: Quentin Tarantino (Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill [Both simply fucking amazing])
Stars: Kurt Russell (Big Trouble in Little China, Overboard)
Rosario Dawson (Sin City, Josie and the Pussycats)
YesNoSoso: 2

I WILL (and this is a big deal) that this is Tarantino's worst movie, but it is still fucking awesome. Excellent, though juvenile, dialogue surrounding a truly entertaining plot. Plus a classic Tarantino 'music video' with an ridiculous song by The Coasters. Movie does require the slightly suspension of logicality, but well worth it in the end. Plus it has Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who makes Sydney Poitier look like Sidney Poitier.
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Planet Terror (2007)

Director: Robert Rodriguez (Desperado, Spy Kids)
Stars: Rose McGowen (Bio-Dome, Monkeybone [Bio-Dome is a stretch])
Freddy Rodriguez ("Six Feet Under", Lady in the Water)
YesNoSoso: 2

I usually have a tough a stomach for movies (except "embarrassment" humor like "Curb Your Enthusiasm), but even I had to look away a few times during my viewing of this movie. Still I'm a sucker for over-the-top craziness and this is the most over-the-top over-the-top movie of all time, at least as far as gross-out scenes. If you don't mind the violence this movie is pretty damn entertaining.
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30 Days of Night (2008)

Director: David Slade (Hard Candy [though I've never seen it])
Stars: Josh Hartnett (Sin City, 40 Days and 40 Nights)
Ben Foster (3:10 to Yuma, The Punisher)
YesNoSoso: 1

This was a strange one, there were times when it was an emphatic zero and times it was an emphatic two. There were some awesomely stylized shots and some genuinely scary scenes, but the "bad guys" were wholly unbelievable and the ending was pretty stupid. I will say that the set up to the story is one of the best I'd ever heard, although that may include my anticipation of an explanation of which there was none. Basically its a horror movie that takes place Barrow, Alaska. The northern most town of the United States that experiences 30 days of night where the majority of the town leaves. And then some scary shit happens. Ben Foster turns in another truly talented performance (I've recently loved him in 3:10 to Yuma and "Freaks and Geeks"), but not enough to carry the movie. Plus he disappears rather abruptly. Just bad execution all around.
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Next (2007)

Director: Lee Tamahori (Mulholland Falls (kinda sucked), xXx: State of the Union)
Stars: Nicholas Cage (Leaving Las Vegas, Ghostrider)
Julianne Moore (Children of Men, The Ladies Man)
YesNoSoso: 2

I know, I know I thought this movie would suck too, but I kind of enjoyed the whole idea. Loosely based on a Phillip K Dick short story (Blade Runner, Minority Report) revolves around a man who can see 2 minutes into his future. And Lee Tamahori executes it rather well, sometimes its tough to visually show futuristic theories like that. I am going to catch alot of flack for this, but I would re-watch this movie.
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Short Cuts (1993)

Director: Robert Altman (The Player, Popeye)
Stars: Tim Robbins (The Player, Antitrust)
Julianne Moore (Boogie Nights, Eagle Eye)
YesNoSoso: 2

Just as an homage to the amazing casts that Altman has assembled I will try to list every famous person in this movie: Andie MacDowell, Bruce Davison, Jack Lemmon, Matthew Modine, Anne Archer, Fred Ward, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Chris Penn, Lili Taylor, Robert Downey Jr., Madeline Stowe, Lily Tomlin, Tom Waits, Frances McDormand, Peter Gallagher, Lori Singer, Lyle Lovett, Buck Henry and Huey Lewis. Pretty fucking amazing eh? The downside to this movie: its three and a half hours long. But I swear to God its entertaining from start to finish. Give it a shot, just make sure you block out an entire night for it.
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