Director: McG (Charlie's Angels, We are Marshall [both sucked unbelievable balls])
Stars: Christian Bale (The Dark Knight, Reign of Fire)
Sam Worthington (Hart's War [This is the only movie of his I've even heard of, never seen it though)
YesNoSoso: 0
What a steaming pile of dog poo. This movie has absolutely nothing to offer except action (which is that good) and a hot chick (awesomely named Moon Bloodgood). Christian Bale completely phones it in and there is zero plot and absolutely awful dialogue. There were multiple occasions when the audience started laughing at very serious but poorly delivered and placed lines. Never see this movie. Your welcome.
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Showing posts with label Emphatic Zero. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Emphatic Zero. Show all posts
1/15/09
Intolerance (1916)
Director: D.W. Griffith (Birth of a Nation [his most famous work and it still sucks ass, fuck D.W. Griffith])
Stars: Some ugly ass 1916 people who are dead
YesNoSoso: 0
Ever seen the Fountain? If not, just imagine one of the most confusing and intricate movie you've ever seen and try to imagine understanding it without sound. That's what its like to see Intolerance. It is literally intolerable (ZING!) and my rant pertaining to The Jazz Singer applies doubly to Intolerance. The fact that this steaming pile of walrus shit was added to the AFI 100 and Fargo was taken off is an injustice on par with Titanic winning the Best Picture in 1997.
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Stars: Some ugly ass 1916 people who are dead
YesNoSoso: 0
Ever seen the Fountain? If not, just imagine one of the most confusing and intricate movie you've ever seen and try to imagine understanding it without sound. That's what its like to see Intolerance. It is literally intolerable (ZING!) and my rant pertaining to The Jazz Singer applies doubly to Intolerance. The fact that this steaming pile of walrus shit was added to the AFI 100 and Fargo was taken off is an injustice on par with Titanic winning the Best Picture in 1997.
IMDB
Wikipedia
The Jazz Singer (1927)
Director: Al Crosland (Some old shit you've never heard of)
Stars: Al Jolson (More of a singer than an actor, And some old shit you've never heard of)
YesNoSoso: 0
Technically the first movie with sound, because there's some terrible mumbling sounds while Al sings, but the whole thing is more or less silent. It sucks, it sucks as bad as any movie I've ever seen. Its long as a Catholic church service and even more boring. Why do we insist on putting these movies on Top 100 lists? When people are compiling the 100 best paintings of all time, do they include Ugg's blood drawing of a stick figure on the cave wall? Then why include this archaic piece of shit?
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Wikipedia
Stars: Al Jolson (More of a singer than an actor, And some old shit you've never heard of)
YesNoSoso: 0
Technically the first movie with sound, because there's some terrible mumbling sounds while Al sings, but the whole thing is more or less silent. It sucks, it sucks as bad as any movie I've ever seen. Its long as a Catholic church service and even more boring. Why do we insist on putting these movies on Top 100 lists? When people are compiling the 100 best paintings of all time, do they include Ugg's blood drawing of a stick figure on the cave wall? Then why include this archaic piece of shit?
IMDB
Wikipedia
10/15/08
You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)
Director: Dennis Dugan (Happy Gilmore, The Benchwarmers)
Stars: Adam Sandler (Punch-Drunk Love, Little Nicky)
John Turturro (The Big Lebowski, Mr. Deeds)
YesNoSoso: 0
Holy Shit this movie is awful. The only redeeming quality (and I really wish there was a more absolute word than 'only') was the otherworldly hotness of Emmanuelle Chriqui, and even that was canceled out by her disastrous Palestinian accent. Seriously, I haven't heard accents this bad since James Coburn and Rod Steiger in Fistfull of Dynamite.
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Stars: Adam Sandler (Punch-Drunk Love, Little Nicky)
John Turturro (The Big Lebowski, Mr. Deeds)
YesNoSoso: 0
Holy Shit this movie is awful. The only redeeming quality (and I really wish there was a more absolute word than 'only') was the otherworldly hotness of Emmanuelle Chriqui, and even that was canceled out by her disastrous Palestinian accent. Seriously, I haven't heard accents this bad since James Coburn and Rod Steiger in Fistfull of Dynamite.
IMDB
Wikipedia
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