The New World (2005)

Director: Terrance Malick (Thin Red Line, Badlands [haven't seen either, but hear they're good])
Stars: Colin Farrell (Crazy Heart, S.W.A.T.)
Q'orianka Kilcher (nothing else really)
YesNoSoso: 1

I put this movie on my Netflix because it was listed on the Onion's AV Club's top 10 movies of the 2000's. Although I respect the AV Club's track record, I have to respectfully disagree with this inclusion. It was boring. As boring as any movie I've ever seen. It avoids the embarassment of a YesNoSoso 0 because of the innovative and downright daring directorial decisions of Terrance Malick. Do yourself a favor and read the trivia section on the IMDB page. Malick employed such aggressive styles as editing the movie around a completed score, using only steady-cam and handhold camera shots, using virtually no artificial light and an average shot length 10x as long as the industry standard. All these decisions give The New World a very authentic feel and I will always respect a director who applies unconventional means to aid the storytelling. But again, boring.
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Year One (2009)

Director: Harold Ramis (Groundhog Day, Bedazzled)
Stars: Jack Black (Tropic Thunder, Shallow Hal)
Michael Cera (Superbad, "Arrested Development" [clearly awesome, he hasn't really been in anything bad that I've seen])
YesNoSoso: 1

This movie was a real surprise. I had heard so many horrible things about it, I may have enjoyed myself purely out of surprise, but I did. It had a lot of funny moments and a lot of tongue in cheek bible/geeky history jokes. The movie has a great cast including Black, Cera, David Cross (my personal messiah), Oliver Platt, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Paul Rudd, Vinnie Jones, Hank Azaria, Olivia Wilde, and Bill Hader. If you are in the mood for a dumb comedy thats not too dumb, check out Year One.
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The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007)

Director: Andrew Dominick (No movies before this but Chopper and I've never seen it)
Stars: Brad Pitt (12 Monkeys, Troy)
Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone, Soul Survivors)
YesNoSoso: 2

If this movie was 45 mins shorter it would've been one of my favorites of all time. Still amazing, with inventive and stunning cinematography, excellent character development and phenomenal acting, its only fault is dragging on a bit too long. The Narrator is some guy named Hugh Ross, just like Alec Baldwin in The Royal Tennebaums and Morgan Freeman in Any Time He Opens his Mouth, is an integral and vital addition.
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The Last King of Scotland (2006)

Director: Kevin MacDonald (One Day in September, haven't heard of anything else he's done)
Stars: Forest Whitaker (Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurii, Bloodsport)
James McAvoy (Atonement, Wimbledon)
YesNoSoso: 1

Nothing special. Seriously, I know it got a heap of praise but i didn't think there was anything to write home about this movie. Forest Whitaker is incredible, as always, and McAvoy does a great job, but there just wasn't anything particularly interesting about this movie. Hence the brevity of this review.
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The Birth of a Nation (1915)

Director: D.W. Griffith (A bunch of old crap that sucks)
Stars: Lillian Gish (A bunch of old crap that sucks)
Mae Marsh (A bunch of old crap that sucks)
YesNoSoso: 0

This movie sucks so bad and is so long, it literally took me 3 weeks to watch it. I would watch 15 minutes, notice my hand slowly moving sharp objects towards my eyes, and have to turn it off. I don't care if its the first color movie of all time. I don't care if I should appreciate it for the time in which it was made. I don't care if its on the original AFI 100. The "color" is just feces tinted celluloid for three hours and the excrement color is an appropriate representation of the films actual content. Its racist, silent and is unequivocally the most boring thing I've ever seen. Fuck D.W. Griffith. I'm glad he's dead.
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