Director: D.W. Griffith (Birth of a Nation [his most famous work and it still sucks ass, fuck D.W. Griffith])
Stars: Some ugly ass 1916 people who are dead
YesNoSoso: 0
Ever seen the Fountain? If not, just imagine one of the most confusing and intricate movie you've ever seen and try to imagine understanding it without sound. That's what its like to see Intolerance. It is literally intolerable (ZING!) and my rant pertaining to The Jazz Singer applies doubly to Intolerance. The fact that this steaming pile of walrus shit was added to the AFI 100 and Fargo was taken off is an injustice on par with Titanic winning the Best Picture in 1997.
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Showing posts with label pre-1940. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pre-1940. Show all posts
1/15/09
The Jazz Singer (1927)
Director: Al Crosland (Some old shit you've never heard of)
Stars: Al Jolson (More of a singer than an actor, And some old shit you've never heard of)
YesNoSoso: 0
Technically the first movie with sound, because there's some terrible mumbling sounds while Al sings, but the whole thing is more or less silent. It sucks, it sucks as bad as any movie I've ever seen. Its long as a Catholic church service and even more boring. Why do we insist on putting these movies on Top 100 lists? When people are compiling the 100 best paintings of all time, do they include Ugg's blood drawing of a stick figure on the cave wall? Then why include this archaic piece of shit?
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Stars: Al Jolson (More of a singer than an actor, And some old shit you've never heard of)
YesNoSoso: 0
Technically the first movie with sound, because there's some terrible mumbling sounds while Al sings, but the whole thing is more or less silent. It sucks, it sucks as bad as any movie I've ever seen. Its long as a Catholic church service and even more boring. Why do we insist on putting these movies on Top 100 lists? When people are compiling the 100 best paintings of all time, do they include Ugg's blood drawing of a stick figure on the cave wall? Then why include this archaic piece of shit?
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9/30/08
Modern Times (1936)
Director: Charles Chaplin (City Lights, The Gold Rush)
Stars: Charles Chaplin (City Lights, The Gold Rush)
Paulette Goddard (The Great Dictator, Sins of Jezebel)
YesNoSoso: 1
The 1 YesNoSoso rating is generous. In my opinion, this is Charlie Chaplin's best film, but thats not saying much. You will not be enthralled, you will probably not even be mildly entertained, but everyone should see a Chaplin film and if you're limiting yourself to one, this should be it. Chaplin made this one after the development of "talkies" but chose to stay silent because he felt it was a more refined movie experience. Judging by other movies I've seen from this time period he may have been right. The only talking happens when someone is speaking through a machine or by actual machines. A nice touch and you know my hard-on for gimmicks. Also there are times when it actually made me laugh, albeit briefly and softly. But overall, its just boring. I appreciate it for the leaps it made in the artform, but its incomplete and antiquated.
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Stars: Charles Chaplin (City Lights, The Gold Rush)
Paulette Goddard (The Great Dictator, Sins of Jezebel)
YesNoSoso: 1
The 1 YesNoSoso rating is generous. In my opinion, this is Charlie Chaplin's best film, but thats not saying much. You will not be enthralled, you will probably not even be mildly entertained, but everyone should see a Chaplin film and if you're limiting yourself to one, this should be it. Chaplin made this one after the development of "talkies" but chose to stay silent because he felt it was a more refined movie experience. Judging by other movies I've seen from this time period he may have been right. The only talking happens when someone is speaking through a machine or by actual machines. A nice touch and you know my hard-on for gimmicks. Also there are times when it actually made me laugh, albeit briefly and softly. But overall, its just boring. I appreciate it for the leaps it made in the artform, but its incomplete and antiquated.
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9/19/08
The Birth of a Nation (1915)
Director: D.W. Griffith (A bunch of old crap that sucks)
Stars: Lillian Gish (A bunch of old crap that sucks)
Mae Marsh (A bunch of old crap that sucks)
YesNoSoso: 0
This movie sucks so bad and is so long, it literally took me 3 weeks to watch it. I would watch 15 minutes, notice my hand slowly moving sharp objects towards my eyes, and have to turn it off. I don't care if its the first color movie of all time. I don't care if I should appreciate it for the time in which it was made. I don't care if its on the original AFI 100. The "color" is just feces tinted celluloid for three hours and the excrement color is an appropriate representation of the films actual content. Its racist, silent and is unequivocally the most boring thing I've ever seen. Fuck D.W. Griffith. I'm glad he's dead.
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Stars: Lillian Gish (A bunch of old crap that sucks)
Mae Marsh (A bunch of old crap that sucks)
YesNoSoso: 0
This movie sucks so bad and is so long, it literally took me 3 weeks to watch it. I would watch 15 minutes, notice my hand slowly moving sharp objects towards my eyes, and have to turn it off. I don't care if its the first color movie of all time. I don't care if I should appreciate it for the time in which it was made. I don't care if its on the original AFI 100. The "color" is just feces tinted celluloid for three hours and the excrement color is an appropriate representation of the films actual content. Its racist, silent and is unequivocally the most boring thing I've ever seen. Fuck D.W. Griffith. I'm glad he's dead.
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